Written By Michael Harris, QMHP
One of the cornerstones of treatment that I rely upon and teach my clients is making the connection between the internal messages we give ourselves and the effect these messages have upon our emotions and behaviors. Practically everyday I invite clients to identify and examine their self-talk (those internal messages) to mitigate the effects of common complaints such as depression and anxiety. If our self-talk affirms our worth and ability to manage life’s stressors, then we are more likely to have a healthy response to those stressors. On the other hand, if our self-talk contains a distorted or destructive narrative, then it is much more likely that we will feel and act accordingly.
Imagine sitting down for that first cup of coffee in the morning and just as you are placing the cup to your lips, you spill it all over the front of your clothing. If your self-talk goes something like, “I can’t believe I just did that! How stupid! This is going to be an awful day,” then your chances of having a bad day increase dramatically and your mood is probably going to be lousy. However, if your self-talk sounds like, “How silly of me! I really love this shirt! I guess it’s time to change into a different shirt,” then you are probably going to feel temporarily annoyed but you will be able to move past the incident and not set yourself up to have a bad day. Suffice it to say that our internal dialogue about events, people, and even ourselves goes a long way toward determining how we feel and behave. In other words, our overall mental health has a lot to do with our internal dialogue.
The Hebrew Scriptures present the concept of the Imago Dei to describe the unique relationship between God and humans. Imago Dei is a Latin phrase that translates to “image of God” in English. This theological idea asserts that human beings are created in the image and likeness of God. While the exact meaning of this construct has been debated for thousands of years, I invite you to consider the implications of it in relation to your self-talk about God and its affect on your mental health. What are the images of God that you believe to be true? Are those images adding to, or subtracting from, your journey toward mental health? I propose that the images we maintain regarding God have a direct effect on our emotions, thoughts, and actions.
Once upon a time I had an image of God that cast God in the role of a critical parent who kept a list of my wrongdoings. This narrative about God that played in my head often led me to feel inadequate, anxious, and depressed. These feelings then led me to think quite negatively about myself leading to some times of very low self-esteem and an attitude of judgment toward myself and my fellow humans. As my faith seasoned and matured, I began to adjust my beliefs about the nature of God, thus affecting my emotions and behaviors. Rather than viewing God as a critical parent, I now view God as a God of grace and justice who, rather than keeping a list of wrongdoings, uses my shortcomings as teachable moments. My shortcomings are no longer seen as failures, but opportunities to receive grace as fertilizer for my growth. Just as a parent will patiently pick up their child a thousand times after they fall while learning to walk, my heavenly Parent has infinite patience with me as I learn to walk with integrity in this life. This shift in my belief system and self-talk about God has brought freedom and made me a more honest person while greatly reducing the amount of anxiety I have in my relationship with God. What is your self-talk about God? How does that self-talk impact your mental health?